The True Essence of Friendship

Would you believe I've spent the past half hour reminiscing about the friends I've had over the years and how they've helped shape me into the success story I earnestly am praying to become? It's even more awe-inspiring when I realise that some never even knew how much positive impact they had made in my life. Obviously there's hardly anything better than having friends, the right friends that is. After observing various friendships as best as I can, I've come to the realisation that the majority of us have no idea what friendship really is about. In my book, associating with people, having the usual hello-hi conversation or even seeing them every so often doesn't qualify them as friends. So you might ask, who then are friends? What then is friendship?

Friends, in Michael's opinion, are people who add value to one's life. That's probably the simplest way I could put that. Friends help us grow, help keep us in check, encourage and support us when we're doing well, rebuke and correct us when we're doing bad, make sacrifices for us and expect us to do same for them, or maybe not. But you see, the the best friend for me might be the worst friend for you. Just as our needs, strengths and weaknesses vary, so do the types of friends we need. Sharing a lot of things in common is great, but only when those things you share are more of interests and dreams than of problems and weaknesses. For instance, you'll be better off as a student who's aiming to make a First Class, with a friend who's working towards a First Class as well, than with one who shares your timidity, lack of assertion and laziness with you. Of what benefit would such a friendship be?

In retrospect, how have your friendships really been? Can you honestly say you've had healthy relationships with those you call friends? If you find yourself in a friendship that's parasitic (one gains at the other's expense), neutralistic (no one gains, no one loses) or even commensalistic (one gains, the other remains unaffected), dear friend, something is most definitely wrong! Either you are suffering or the other person is. Bottom line is that things must change. An ideal friendship is supposed to be symbiotic, mutualistic. Both parties are supposed to not only gain, but see specific significant improvements in the once weaker parts of their lives, leaving no iota of doubt that progress is being made. That's the point. That's the true essence of Friendship!