Let The Grudge Go!

Monday morning, lounging on my sofa and just staring vaguely at the television with a glass of good old milk and some pieces of cake in a tray right in front of me. Flipping through the channels looking for something I'm in the mood for but...nothing just seems to be doing it for me this morning. So I thought I'd quickly share something that's been on my mind for a couple of days now, something most of us have heard over and over again...and even preached but don't really practice.

Have you ever been hurt before? Trick question right? Like who hasn't been hurt at some point or the other in their lives huh? Truth is, hurt is relative. I'm not talking about those random moments when your younger sister just gets on your nerves at the wrongest of moments or when Dad denies you some luxury you honestly think you deserve (if that's your definition of hurt, this probably isn't for you). I'm talking about being so provoked because someone has done something very painful to you that probably has caused you something valuable and made you certain you'd never forgive them. Clearer picture now?

If you've never had such an experience, I have, and I can boldly tell you it's one of the most heartbreaking things that could happen to you, especially if you've never done anything similar and therefore believe you deserve better. Disappointments, broken promises, malicious lies, blackmail, deceit, false accusations, betrayed trust...need I go further? If you've ever been in these shoes you already knew exactly what I was talking about from the very first word. So what do you do when you've been let down like this? Cry? Pray? Swear to get your revenge? Promise never to forgive? Determine to maybe eventually forgive but never forget? Become suicidal? Whatever your initial reaction might be is perfectly understandable. I mean, you're human, you have feelings. It's only normal for you to react...initially at least.

I think I probably fall into the "forgive-but-don't-forget" category myself. Can I say this has helped me in any way? I think I've stated it in one of my previous posts that I'm probably a very good pretender (that's what we actors do, hehe) so it really shouldn't surprise you that I can be very hurt and not show it. Whenever someone lets me down, no matter how letdown I am, I can just act like everything's perfectly all right...even though it might be perfectly all wrong. Some people can very easily come to you, tell you how you've hurt them, demand an apology perhaps, and that ends the story. That's the ideal thing I suppose, I do that a couple of times as well, but life isn't always that simple. Deciding to speak up might open a whole new chapter entirely and not everyone is ready for that stress. So what's the next best thing? Yeah, you guessed right, bearing grudges.

It's really unfortunate that many of us are very guilty of this (at least I know I probably am). Just like so many other things in my life, I know it's wrong, I know it's something I would never advise anyone else to do, but it's definitely something I can't deny. I try my best to forgive people when they offend me, no matter how severely I've been hurt, but I find it really difficult to forget. I might act like everything's just fine but when there's a similar occurrence trust me to revisit old wounds. It's even worse when the offender refuses to acknowledge the offence and apologise.

But here's the deal. The very best thing you can do is forgive and try not to deliberately keep reminding yourself of the pain. There are some things you definitely can't just forget, but try not to keep refreshing your memory. Let is slide dear friend. You really aren't doing this for the person who's wronged you, you're doing it for yourself. Apart from the fact that you'd be living a much healthier, happier and consequently longer life if you let the grudges go, you do realise that you also hurt other people on a daily basis, not to speak of God, don't you? So do unto others what you want to be done unto you, shikena! No one ever said it was going to be easy, but I bet you, it's most definitely worth it, much more worth it than you can imagine. I know.

Finally found something interesting on TV so...have a beautiful rest of the week!